The question is: “why is it that I want to help other people?”
I was brought up on the south side of Chicago in the early 60s. During the time when all hell was breaking loose behind MLK, and everything that went along with Al Capone being the gangster around the city.
I was brought up in an era where you had to do things in order to survive. The number 1 thing was to “not be afraid”. If you got caught up in something, you had to get yourself out of it. You had to make it known you were not afraid of anything or anybody. The only exception to this rule was – “you had to respect your elders”.
By the time I was 7 or 8 years old I was known as a bad little kid. I was selling weed as I delivered newspapers. I had a reputation for being the most violent kid in school. I was running with kids who were older than me – they were teaching me how do to all the wrong things.
By the time I was 10 or 11, I was selling hard drugs. I was a member of the Blackstone Rangers gang while living in the projects where a rival gang resided. It was during this time in my life where I was molested by two women. I felt scared and ashamed but had to keep a tough exterior. This pushed me further into a life of pimping, hard drugs, and violence.
They said: “Darryl, by the age of 15, you will be dead.”
My dad took my mom’s life at the age of 15.
After that, my oldest brother Andrew forced me to enroll in the job corps out of fear that I would be killed. I took to culinary studies after my mother – within three months I was cooking for the entire program. The words of my brother Eugene echoed in my ear, “Whatever you do in life, be the best at whatever you do”. He was shot and killed in 1977 by supposed friends.
After coming out of the job corps, I started traveling. My life was in shambles – I did not know where to go or what to do. I was aggressive, vindictive, and disrespectful to anyone who crossed me.
I went all around the US, carrying pain and shame not knowing where it was coming from. I learned later in life, after being beaten, shot, stabbed, and run over by cars – that I should have been grateful that I wasn’t killed.
I was in search of something but eventually that path led to the penitentiary, behind a female. In jail, I started working – but the fruits of my labor profited the private companies that ran the penitentiaries. This made me upset.
I spent the next several years bouncing in and out of jail.
At the age of 49, God sent a group of kids to me. On June 1st, 2012, two teenagers rushed me in the park. A disgruntled drug dealer sent them to attack me, knowing I would not attack children in retribution. My ribs were broken – I was hurt and confused. At this moment, I knew I had to turn away from my addictions and my lifestyle. After treating my physical wounds, on June 4th 2012, I enrolled in a detox center called Cherry Hill. While there, I met a mentor named Prince Patterson (Rest in Heaven) who eventually helped me find a bed at Free at Last for longer term treatment. I am still in recovery today.
I tell people, “you don’t have to do what I did. I did it for you”. If you believe in yourself, you can make your life worth living. There is no one greater than He, who works in me and makes this possible. I do what I do because I am grateful that God has kept me around long enough help other people. I should have been dead at 15 in Chicago; now I am here today to help those suffering through adverse childhood experiences.
Today, Staying Connected hosts open, hot meals for anyone in the area to foster community and better understand their needs. This allows Staying Connected to coordinate additional resources like Ecumenical Hunger program, government services, mental and behavioral health services, and shelters.